


Boob-a-Tron 6000: Why Jeff needed to save Annie

by ihaveitwitheveryone



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 03:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2606930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihaveitwitheveryone/pseuds/ihaveitwitheveryone





	Boob-a-Tron 6000: Why Jeff needed to save Annie

Jeff was barely paying attention, but he was pretty sure he just heard Abed say that he and Troy built a robot. “I’m sorry, you built a what?” he asked, looking up from his game of Bejewled.  
“A robot. More specifically a humanoid robot.”

At that moment, Troy came running up to meet them. Struggling to catch his breath, he asked, “How… did you… get here… so fast?!”  
Abed ignored his question. “Troy was responsible for the mechanical design of the robot. I lead the design of its operating system—its programming, if you will.”  
“I won’t. Why are you telling me this anyway?  
Troy and Abed looked nervously at each other. It was Troy who answered first.  
“Well, you see… it was actually Britta’s idea to name it Boob-a-Tron 6000.”  
“Actually, she just named it Boob-a-Tron, which she said was a better name for a robot based on your personality, we added the 6000 part.”  
Troy nodded, “Yeah, much cooler than the 4000.”

Just then, Vicki ran buy and ducked around the corner. A few moments later, Pierce came running in, dressed as a giant hot dog.  
“Vicki?” he asked.  
Troy pointed in her direction, “Headed toward the library, I think.”  
Pierce gave them the thumbs up and hurried around the corner himself. Jeff made a sour face.  
“The other day Vicki was in line in front of Pierce and she bought the last hot dog, so Pierce decided…”  
Jeff scowled at Troy, causing him to stop mid-explanation.

Jeff was getting tired of the distractions and waiting for Troy and Abed to get to the point. “Idiots. And yet, though I should know better, I’ll still ask you again; why are you telling me this?”  
“Because, Jeff, the robot was originally named Java-encoded Functional Friend, or J.E.F.F. for short. He was supposed to function as our robotic friend, join us on the hijinks and shenanigans you normally don’t want to participate in.”  
“What?”  
“His programming was based on you. When we turned him on, he immediately ran away from us. I don’t fully understand why, but I have a theory.”

Jeff felt a slow, sinking sensation in his stomach, which usually meant he was about to be drawn into something against his will and better judgment. “Go on.”  
“Well, when I built his programming, I did my best to quantify the many parts of your personality. Five points here, 10 points there.”  
“You make it sounds like Dungeons & Dragons.”  
“In a way, it is quite similar Jeff. I don’t claim to be perfect, but J.E.F.F. was designed to approximate you. Except, when we changed his name, I think we might have Britta’d his programming.”  
Troy nodded, “I’m just glad we didn’t name him Boob-a-Tron 9000!”  
Abed continued, “If my theory is correct, his new name created a glitch, causing him to prioritize boobs 6000 times as much as he is supposed to.”  
Jeff felt his stomach sink another few feet. “That is the dumbest thing I have ever…”  
“Jeff, I need you to think. What do you think you would do if you cared about boobs 6000 times as much as usual?”

Jeff was nearly 100% sure that Abed was only a very good predictor of behavior and that he couldn’t actually read his thoughts. Still, he felt the need to try and picture Pierce in his ridiculous hot dog suit after an image of pale cleavage covered by a flowery dress and a tight, purple cardigan flashed in his head….


End file.
